Harry Potter and Dudley SnorkackDursley
by hgjadegirl
Summary: During the summer between Harry's sixth and seventh years, Luna Lovegood appears at his doorstep, needing a place to stay. Luna's arrival turns life upsidedown. Even Dudley is acting strangely! [ABANDONED]
1. Chapter 1 An Unexpected Guest

Harry Potter and Dudley Snorkack-Dursley

Chapter 1: Unexpected Guest

Harry Potter lay in his room at the Dursleys', thinking over his summer. He didn't have much planned, as his best friend, Ron Weasley, was stuck at the Burrow for the summer. His other best friend, Hermione Granger, was staying with her parents, while he, Harry, was stuck here, at this awful place he had been forced to call home for the past sixte-

He was brought back from his thoughts by the doorbell ringing and a loud "BOY! GET DOWN HERE!" from his Uncle Vernon. Harry sighed, stood up, and walked down the stairs to see what his uncle wanted.

"Hello, Harry," a voice said dreamily.

Harry froze. He knew that voice. But Luna Lovegood couldn't be at Privet Drive, could she?

"Hello," he replied hesitantly.

Vernon turned toward Harry. His face was bright red. "Who is this girl? What is she doing at my household?" His face became pale. "She's not from...school, is she?" Vernon whispered, becoming paler by the second.

"Uh, no" Harry lied. "She's, uh..."

"I'm an exchange student," Luna interrupted. "I met Harry at the train station. I needed somewhere to stay, and Harry said that I could stay here."

"Of course."

Harry spun around. He hadn't noticed that Dudley was in the room. The thought struck him that Dudley had gone mad. When Dudley smiled at Luna, he was sure he was correct in his assumption.

"Thank you," Luna said, pushing Mr. Dursley out of the doorway so she could get by.

"I'm not letting anybody stay in my house!" Mr. Dursley said, regaining the color in his face.

"Yes you are!" Dudley said, staring at his father with an angry look on his face. "Let her stay!"

Petunia Dursley, Vernon's wife, appeared. "Oh, Vernon...Let Dudley..." she started. When she saw Luna, she gasped. "Who are you?" she asked ferociously.

"Um..." Harry started.

"My name is Lila Snorkack," Luna said dreamily. Harry suppressed a grin.

"Yeah, her name is Lila Snorkack," Harry repeated, trying very hard not to laugh. "She, uh, wants to stay here for a while."

Petunia started to speak, but Dudley stopped her.

"She gets to stay," he said firmly.

Harry was confused. Why would Dudley want Luna to stay?

"Mother! She has to stay!" Dudley turned to his mother.

"Oh, of course, dear. Anything you like, Duddikins," Petunia sent a rather forced smile in Luna's direction. "But where will she sleep?"

"She can stay in my room," Harry said quickly. He figured it would be easier to contain any magical belongings Luna had in his room, as opposed to places like the kitchen, Dudley's room, or anywhere else the Dursleys could find them.

Mr. and Mrs. Dursley looked at each other. Harry saw Mr. Dursley give a slight shrug, and Mrs. Dursley do the same. They eventually nodded to Dudley, who grinned.

Harry and Luna grabbed her bags and Harry led her upstairs.

On the way up, he smiled to himself.

'This is going to be one interesting summer.'


	2. Chapter 2 Family Time

1 Harry Potter and Dudley Snorkack-Dursley

Chapter 2: Family Time

A/N: I don't own Harry Potter or anything related to it. Duh.

The next morning, Harry woke to the sounds of a conversation in the kitchen. He wandered downstairs to find Luna and Dudley talking calmly while Mr. and Mrs. Dursley watched with expressions that showed their displeasure at Dudley talking with a girl who was friends with Harry.

"Hello, Lu- Lila." Harry greeted Luna when she looked from her conversation with Dudley.

"Hello, Harry. Would you like some breakfast?" Luna held up an empty plate at the space next to her.

Dudley glared at Harry, obviously mad that his conversation had been interrupted. He tapped Luna sharply on the shoulder.

"I'm going to my room. Talk to you later?" Dudley half stated, half asked.

"Sure." Luna replied.

"Okay." Dudley stood up and went upstairs, leaving his plate for someone else to take to the kitchen.

"Have you heard anything from anybody from school this summer?" Luna asked.

"No, I haven't gotten any, erm, letters or talked to anyone but you, erm, Lila."

The Dursleys watched, confused. Harry grinned. It must seem as if he and Luna were speaking in code to them.

"I'm not that hungry. I think I'm going to go upstairs."

The Dursleys ignored Harry, and Luna just said "Okay, I'll be up in a minute." How Luna could stand being alone in the same room with the Dursleys was beyond Harry.

As his foot touched the top stair, Harry heard noises coming from Dudley's room. He crossed to the door and put his ear to it. "Snorkack...S-n-u-r-k-a-k. Sounds right..." Dudley was talking to himself.

Curious, Harry opened the door. Dudley looked up in surprise.

"Wha-What do you want?" Dudley glared at Harry.

"What are you doing?" Harry asked.

"Noth-Nothing. None of your business." Dudley said, crumpling up a piece of paper he had apparently been writing on before Harry had walked in on him.

Harry quickly reached out and snatched the paper. On it was written:

Lila Snurkak-Dursley

Lila Dursley-Snurkak

Dudley Dursley-Snurkak

Dudley Snurkak-Dursley

"What is this?"

Dudley grabbed the paper back. "Nothing!"

"Tell me." Harry reached towards his back pocket, to trick Dudley into thinking he had his wand with him.

It worked. Dudley went pale. "I...well...Does Lila have a boyfriend?"

Harry stood still with shock, then burst out laughing. "You like Lila? Well, no she doesn't have a boyfriend. But, you should know that she's really not your type. And Snorkack is spelled S-n-o-r-k-a-c-k, by the way."

Dudley wrote down the word Snorkack on his paper, then turned back to Harry. "She is my type! She's pretty, and nice..."

"And completely not your type. She's smart. You aren't."

Dudley glared at Harry. "How do you know I'm not as smart as she is?"

It took all of Harry's self control not to laugh. "I just do. Now, I suggest you find someone else to like."

"But I love her!"


	3. Chapter 3 A Chat with Hermione

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Obviously.

A/N: Sorry for the long delay! I've been suffering from a severe case of lack of inspiration...A few angry reviews always help, for future reference.

Also, if anybody has any ideas for future chapters, please tell me. I'm not even going to try to guess how many chapters this is going to end up being...

A huge thanks to everybody who doesn't think this story is a gigantic waste of time!

Harry Potter and Dudley Snorkack-Dursley

Chapter 3 A Chat With Hermione

A few hours later, a large brown owl arrived. Harry opened the window, untied the parchment, and gave the owl one of Hedwig's treats.

The parchment was a letter from Hermione:

_Dear Harry,_

_Would it be alright if Ron and I could come to the Dursleys' to discuss our plans for the upcoming year? If so, could you send me an owl back with a day and time that work for you? Thanks._

_Hermione_

Harry looked at a small calendar he had hanging on his wall. Today was Tuesday, so he should tell Hermione to come as soon as possible, tomorrow. He grabbed a piece of parchment and wrote:

Hermione,

Come Wednesday at 3 pm.

Harry

Harry looked at his watch, the one Dudley has thrown against his wall the past year, resulting in it being given to Harry. It was 9 pm. He was feeling a little sleepy, so, after saying good night to Luna, who was sitting on the bed she had conjured in Harry's closet, which she had magically expanded, he grinned in the direction of Dudley's room and put his pajamas on, climbing into bed.

In the middle of a light sleep, Harry began to dream. He was in the middle of a grassy area...it looked like the area around the lake at Hogwarts, but everything was blurry. He could hear screams...his parents, the shrill screams of a few girls, and Hermione...

"No!" Harry awoke with a start to find Luna standing over him.

"Good morning, Harry. Were you dreaming about him?"

"Uh, yeah." How Luna could know was beyond him, and he didn't feel like asking questions. Harry looked around the room. Hermione's brown owl was staring at him through the window. He went over to the window to let it in. He immediately grabbed the small bit of parchment tied to its leg, and left it staring expectantly after him as he sat on his bed.

_Dear Harry,_

_Ron can't make it; he has to help with the wedding, but I'll come._

_See you at three!_

_Hermione _

Harry spent the next eight hours in his room, reading a book on quidditch, leaving only for meals and to occasionally taunt Dudley. With Luna present, the Dursleys had suddenly decided not to have him do any chores, so his day was completely open.

At three pm, he was started by a soft knocking on his bedroom door.

"Hello!" Hermione smiled.

"Hi. I didn't hear the door..."

"Oh, Lila let me in." Hermione stared at Harry, obviously expecting an expectation.

"Oh, yeah. Luna's here." How could he have forgotten? Thinking on it, he hadn't seen her much...or Dudley...

"I figured that out rather quickly," Hermione replied rather sharply.

" Well, she needed a place to stay..."

"So you invited her to stay here? With the Dursleys?"

"Well, no. She sort of invited herself here, and Dudley wanted her to stay..." Harry grinned despite Hermione's sharp look.

"What's so funny?"

"Well, Dudley likes Luna! But he can't really; I'm pretty sure Dudley is incapable of love. And Luna would never like him back."

"What? Dudley likes Luna? Well, I guess it makes sense..."

"Makes sense? How does Dudley liking anybody, much less Luna, make sense? He's mental. That's obviously it..."

Hermione gave a small grin reluctantly before reprimanding him. "You might not like him, but that's no reason to be cruel!" Her face took on a more serious look. "Besides, everybody can love."

"Right. Everybody except for Voldemort-" Harry looked up to see how Hermione would react to hearing the name, but she gazed at him steadily "and Dudley."

"Are you talking about him? Would you mind if I joined you?" Luna walked in and sat on her bed in the closet, staring intently at Harry and Hermione. After a brief pause, she added "Is Ronald coming, by the way?"

Harry cleared his throat before answering. "No, he's not."

"Oh." Luna's expression became slightly downcast. "Well, I suppose I'll just see him at school."

"Suppose you will..." Harry said, hoping desperately that she would go away so he could talk with Hermione alone.

After a few silent minutes, Luna stood and walked towards the door. "Are you staying for dinner?" she asked Hermione.

Hermione glanced at Harry, who shrugged. "Yes, I think I will."

"See you then." Luna turned and exited the room.

"Well, let's think about next year. I was thinking..." At Hermione's words, Harry turned his attention away from Luna and Dudley and onto thoughts of the following year.


End file.
